Blame it on the booze
by Gamer2008
Summary: Stan and Kyle have no sex life. Stan is drunk, and curious. Kyle is available. Put two and two together. LEMONS, YAOI, and LANGUAGE.


**A/N: I have another SP fanfic with Style... but I was bored o.e It's 12 in the morning here. HELP.**

**Warning: LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS. YAOI. If you dislike, sex, or sex between two boys, LEAVE. DO NOT FLAME ME BECAUSE YOU'RE TO STOOPID TO CLICK THE 'BACK' BUTTON.**

**Read... set... GO!**

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It wasn't the 16 year friendship we had. Or the fact we had raging sex hormones, and couldn't pick up chicks. Definitly not because we curious, though frankly, we were.

It was because we were anything but sober.

We were drunk to no end. At first it was a couple shots, a bottle of wiskey... then it turned into everything else. We both had had at least four bottles of beer.

To explain in further detail, we were at one of Craig's monthly parties. He threw them when his parents were away, and no one was ever the wiser. Too all the kids of South Park, no gave a shit we were all underage, and couldn't drink until another five years passed us. Obviously Stan and I didn't care. Or we wouldn't be here.

It really hard started, with me having to carry Stan ustairs, to get away from all the acohol, he had enough.

"Stop it, Kyle... I'm not drunk!" Stan's words were slightly slurred.

"God damnit, I told- I told you too stop after your first beer, you stupid bastard!" I whined, "Now I have to fucking drive your sorry ass home!"

"Nooo no no no no. You're way to drunk to drive, Kyle." Stan pouted.

"I'm not as drunk as you are. It'll be fine." I said dragging Stan to Craig's parents bed. I threw him on it, as he turned to the side, to throw up.

"That's nasty..." I said.

"Fuck you. You'd be puking guts if you had a shit load of beer too!" He yelled, continuing to throw up. I let out a sigh, as I sat with him on the bed. When he was done, he laid next to me.

"Hey man..." He mumbled.

"What?" I asked.

"Why can't we pick up chicks?" Stan wondered, "Are we that un-appealing to the opposite sex?"

"Probably." I laughed. He eyed me.

"It's not fucking funny! I don't want to be a 40 year-old virgin!" He yelled.

"S'not my problem. Spike a girl's drink." I rolled my eyes at the dumb idea.

"Nah, if I have sex, it's with someone who is actually awake. It's like banging a dead chick. Nothing happens." Stan smiled.

"Oh, yeah, because you would know so much about 'banging a dead chick'." I said.

"Would it be okay if we had sex?"

"S-stan! What the fuck are you saying?! That alcohol is getting to your head!" I yelled.

"Maybe... but everyone has already had sex but us. Even fatass." This was true. Cartman got Bebe to do it with him, twice in fact, while at Craig's parties.

"That doesn't mean you go and screw your best friend."

"Uhm, yes it does." Stan said, "Besides, haven't you ever been curious, what it would be like to do it with another guy? Keep an open mind."

"Uh... S-stan... I'm not so s-sure about this." I said as he climbed on top of me. He started with my shirt first.

"It's gonna be alright." Stan smiled, as he took my shirt off and threw it to the corner of the room. His face lit up at the sight of my chest, "Ah, I've been watching you in the locker room, but your much more built from up close."

"You've what?!" I yelled.

"Yeh... You know you like it though." He said bringing his face close to my chest. My heart race sped up, "I'm not sure how to do this... But if I do something wrong just tell me."

"Oh yeah, cause I would know! Just do whatever..." I said as my breathing speed began to elevate.

"Sure..." He said as he started to lick my chest all over. Sometimes he would roll his fingers over my sides lightly as well, which made me shake and moan, "I see I'm doing good so far, but how much longer until I can make Kyle hard?" He sucked on my neck, and still laced his fingers over my chest at the same time.

"Ahhh... I'm hard now..." I said as Stan stopped. He looked up at my face, then down back at my pants, and then nodded in agreement. He took of my pants and then my underwear.

"Oh wow, you really are hard!" He laughed grabbing my member and sliding his hand up and down.

"Kaaa!" I moaned.

"Oh," He smiled, "You find out something new everyday, now don't cha?" He sped up pace, and then stopped suddenly, then started, then stopped, then started, and stopped.

"Haaa, stop that..." I said mentally kicking this bastard.

"Can I, you know- suck?" He asked. I nodded a little, and then he wrapped his tongue around my manhood, and made loud popping sounds as he sucked harshly. He bit me a couple times, but only very lightly, and my fingers ended up finding their way into Stan's hair, and made him suck me harder. Finally, when the daze I was in became to much to bare, I climaxed in his mouth.

"You didn't even forewarn me," He said as he grabbed the blanket on the bed and wiped the sticky substance from his mouth, "Gross..." I still shook a little and then smiled.

"Okay," I said, "Now it's your turn!" He laid on the bed in front of me, and removed his pants.

"Oh haha, no, I'm taking you from behind." I smirked. He shrugged helplessly as he turned over. I turned to the nightstand, and opened it's top drawer. And after a good search, not really, I found some lube, and smile, "Sick, dude. Craig's parents have lube... Well, I guess it's coming in handy now." I rubbed some at Stan's entrance, and then on my member, and placed the bottle back on the nightstand. I entered Stan slowly, expecting it to hurt, but he didn't whimper or anything. He just waited and the shouted.

"Well, are you gonna fucking move?! I'm not gonna stay erect forever, you sonabitch!"

"For God's sake, chill, Stan." I said. I took a deep breath, then started thrusting. In and out, in and out. And Stan seemed to be enjoying it too, because you were able to hear his moans from down the street.

"Harder... p-please!" He shouted, as his dug his nails into the mattress. I placed my hand under him, and then found his member. I slid my hand up and down.

"If y-you keep doing t-that, I'm gonna- AH!" He released on my hand, as I released inside him. And we both collapsed on the bed.

"So that was sex?" He asked 20 minutes later as we laid in the bed together.

"I guess..." I let out a sigh.

"Oh," He smiled, "Wanna do it again?"

"Not now..."

"Later is fine too." He smirked.

"But later you won't be drunk..." I said looking at him.

"Haha, you really think I had sex with you because I was drunk?! YEAH RIGHT. I don't think you realize this, but I've drank sooo much before, I've become immune nearly. I'm fully aware of what I'm doing when I'm drunk. It's just funny that I actually got you to do!" He smiled.

"So you actually wanted to have sex with me?" I asked.

"Well what the fuck do you think?!" He asked rolling his eyes.

I smiled, "Screw waiting for later. Let's go again."

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**A/N: Oh gawd... ROTFLOL. I'm not even awake right now. Is any of this right? I'm sleep typing. Good-night. -snore-**


End file.
